Skip to main content

Today

I wrote this post one year ago today. I didn't expect it to hurt this bad still. I've done well most of the day but I lost it this evening. It's such a deep ache....The last couple of months have been made easier by the hope brought through our adoption...but just like the Bible story, I miss the lost lambs..... one can't replace another, every little lamb is special. I will leave the giveaway open until tomorrow, I need some rest tonight. Thanks for "listening" friends... xoxox, Sam
Labels:

Comments

Crys said…
I love you Sam... :)
September 6, 2009 at 9:01 PM
Jody said…
I've never known what a heartache losing a wee little one in the womb could cause because it seems as though a lot of moms don't talk about the babies they lost. I miscarried earlier this year and am still often overwhelmed with the grief of losing my babies. I appreciate you being open about the pain that it causes. Children are so precious and I think by not showing our grief to others we make it seem as though we are not acknowledging that they are special and made in God's image just like the babies who are born full term. I am crying with you today.
September 6, 2009 at 9:08 PM
Martha said…
HUGS, anniversaries can be tough.
September 6, 2009 at 9:23 PM
Jean said…
Hugs here too. It can take a long time, this year was the first time that I could function pretty well and didn't have a really hard time right around that day, and it's been 10 years.
September 6, 2009 at 10:33 PM
Rose and Ivy said…
Samantha, I'm thinking about you today-- I am so sorry.

Marlya xx
September 6, 2009 at 10:35 PM
Goosegirl said…
Dear Sam, I am so sorry. I do know how it feels and sometimes the pain is so very bad. I know you have heard it all before so I won't say much more. But it hurts and I am sorry you are hurting. I know you want to hold those babies again.

I just received the new Selah cd in the mail on Friday and there is a song called "I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)" that spoke to my heart so much. If you get a chance, listen to it. It is beautiful and so perfectly describes how this feels.
I pray the Lord comforts you and heals your heart my friend.

( I just realized that I posted this in the wrong place, so I reposted it here.)
Sivje
September 6, 2009 at 10:43 PM
Kathya said…
My prayers to you!
*hugs*(lots of them)
September 6, 2009 at 11:37 PM
Lucy said…
I can't imagine - but I am sure that your pain is because of your tender and loving motherly heart. And that heart will be such a comfort to the little once-lost lambs that Jesus brings to your home. I think your awareness of your own loss will be a help to you as you acknowledge and soothe their different losses. May God bless you deeply.
September 7, 2009 at 4:48 AM
jen said…
There really aren't any words to take away your pain, just know that you are being thought of..
September 7, 2009 at 7:25 AM
Pomona said…
I agree with Jean - like you I found the anniversaries particularly difficult, but after 10 years it became easier. Now it is 12 years on, and I still weep on occasion, but honestly it is much easier to bear. Time eventually dulls the pain a little - it becomes less acute, and less difficult to deal with. But I am sure that it is better not to bottle it up, but acknowledge and share the pain. I suppose in the end we are the sum of our griefs and joys, and we laugh and cry together in turn.

Pomona x
September 7, 2009 at 8:34 AM
Unknown said…
As someone who has lost a child (not a miscarriage, but lost at 7 weeks old), I know that kind of pain. :( It's absolutely okay, and NORMAL, to "lose it". Good thoughts and prayers headed your way...
September 7, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Lisa said…
My prayers are with you. It's been 7 years since I lost my baby at 20 weeks and it is very difficult. We've never been able to concieve a child since but have been blessed with two children through adoption. The whole process has been life altering for us. We miss our child very much and wish we would have had time with him but find peace in knowing that the kids we have would have been ours no matter how they arrived. Please know your in my prayers.
September 7, 2009 at 9:29 PM
April said…
Wow - I had no idea my comment on the give-away post was so close to the anniversary date of your loss. I'm so very, very sorry, Samantha. Praying for you.
September 8, 2009 at 1:12 AM
Debbie said…
Sam,
I've only spoken with a time or two, but am really enjoying your blog. Being an adoptive mom, I can't say I understand misscarriage. As far as I know, I've never been pregnant. But, even in adoption, I've experienced loss. Several children have been "expected" and not come home. Two were in our arms only to go elsewhere.
I know how it feels to have little lambs missing and wondering everyday, where they are and who they are.
My heart says strongly there are two (at least) missing. Oddly enough my dd says that our family will have 4 children in it. We have 2 now. She doesn't know my heart or my longing.
Bless you in your journey.
Feel free to call anytime. I'm the Ohio Debbie....
September 8, 2009 at 7:14 AM
Myra said…
Read this a few days late, but I totally understand after having 4 miscarriages, the longest one's anniversary is Sept 16, 7 years ago, misc at 18 weeks. It gets better every year, but there is still a hole there, a question of what would he have been like, looked like, etc. The others were lost earlier in pregnancies, so I am still haunted by them, but not to the same degree. With our oldest adopted and the other 3 surviving biological, just think we would have had 8, so there are 4 here and 4 in heaven. I guess Mike and I will know them later.
September 12, 2009 at 9:15 AM
needlekrafter said…
Sam,

I'm thinking of, and praying for you- for the Lord's peace in the midst of your heartache.

xoxoxo
September 15, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Handmade Dress Infomercial: Do you suffer from scrached DVD's?

Do your children cry when they can't watch their favorite movie because of irritating scratches? Are you sick of paying good money for movies that are scratched minutes after you take them from the case? Do you often wish that we could just go back to VHS because you could leave them out in the rain, bring them in and use them for a coaster, and then let the baby throw it for fun and it would STILL WORK!? ME TOO ! . We have struggled for years with scratched movies that were no longer watchable, but not anymore! We have finally found the secret formula to rid you of this nasty little problem forever! . Crest Kids Toothpaste! YES, that's what I said! Kids toothpaste! . A few months back I heard some place that toothpaste would take of scratches and I tried it and it didn't work, then the other day out of pure desperation I tried it my way. IT WORKED! So I decided this kind of news could not be kept secret, I have to tell the world! So I ...
125 comments
Read more

New triple bunks.

Ben designed new bunk beds for the "girl's dorm" and "boy's dorm" in our house. We LOVE them!! We are almost done with all of the work, just a few loose ends left to tie up, but I couldn't wait to show off his handy-work. This is the girl set. We stained them with colored stain and we really like how that turned out. It's almost the color of cranberries. I still need to paint the boards that are attached to the wall. I'm going to paint them the color of the wall so that it looks like the beds are floating. :)  This is the boy set while still under construction. We ordered new bunk mattresses, but they haven't come in yet. I will show you guys pictures when they are completely finished. We stained these green, it looks like the color of bamboo. The kids LOVE these beds! And oh the space we have now! I'll be back soon with finished pictures! xo, Sam If any of you make beds using these plans could you send us a picture? We ...
152 comments
Read more

The Family Closet

It's another gray day so the pictures aren't great, but I wanted to get these posted since I have a few minutes. The family closet has changed my life people!! It has taken my most overwhelming chore from crazy to totally doable. We had to start in the laundry room because that is were most of this process starts. These storage racks went on sale for 69$ right after Christmas and we got 3. We also got several of the $3.50 Steralite clothes baskets because they fit side by side perfectly. In the laundry room I now have baskets labeled (Whites, Towels, Darks, Reds & Purples -we have a lot of those!) to separate clothes into, baskets marked "Clean" for clean clothes, a place for storage (extra dish cloths, table cloths, socks that need a mate). The laundry room is much less intimidating now, I actually like going in there! I also now have room for my drying rack in here! I painted a huge henna design on the wall to pretty it up a bit. :) The Caffee sign ...
11 comments
Read more