Saturday, September 6, 2008

it hurts

I went to the doctor yesterday for a kidney infection. They decided that while I was there they would check for a heartbeat since I'm 11 weeks. No heartbeat. They tried a sonogram, "no cardiac activity" They called in a specialist who looked and told me that the baby was dead. They said the baby died about a week ago. I go in for surgery Monday (D&C). I'm not bleeding, I'm still sick, on the screen was a perfect baby with arms and legs, but no heartbeat... I requested another sonogram before the surgery just to be sure and they said that would be fine, but they were sure there was no hope. No hope...

58 comments:

Colleen said...

I am so sorry! You are in my prayers.

Oliver Rain said...

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry.

Jean said...

I'm so sorry. It hurts terribly. We had something similar with our first. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my I am so sorry... I will be praying for you and your family.

Renee

DangitAnge said...

I'm so sorry Samantha! ((((HUGS))) for you.

(AngelaSIA from the board)

muralimanohar said...

I'm so sorry. :(

Beth Pierce said...

Oh wow...You are in our prayers and thoughts...

CalicoDaisy said...

I'm so sorry. -- Michele

Ruth said...

I'm crying with you. I've been there. I know. I'm so sorry.

cjoy said...

I am so, so sorry; that must hurt so deeply...I am praying for you and your family.

cjoy said...

I'm so sorry. That must hurt so deeply. I will be praying for you and your family.

Jessica said...

Oh no! I am so so sorry for your loss.

Brenda L said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Megh said...

I'm so sorry.

Lady_MSnow said...

Oh honey...I am so sorry. I am praying for you and your family. Just remember that the Lord is your strength.

mommatothebear said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Carolyn said...

I'm so sorry. Sending you tons of hugs.

Joy said...

Oh dearest Samantha...
How my heart is aching for you this afternoon. I unfortunately know all to well this horrible loss you are going through...may the Lord uphold you in His Everlasting arms as you go through this storm. Clinging with you...

Hugs, prayers, and love across the miles...

Ellamama said...

I am so very very sorry. There is very little that is worse than this feeling. I know.

Nell said...

Oh, Samantha! I am so sorry! My prayers are for you, your husband, the three little children, and that little soul nestled now in the arms of Jesus.
God bless you and give you strength, my friend.

Nell

Candace said...

Samantha. I am so sorry. We too have been through this before our third. You and yours are in our prayers.

jennifer said...

((hugs)) I'm so sorry! I've been there and know how deeply this hurts. I'm lifting you up in prayer.

The Quiet Life said...

My heart goes out to you. I have been there myself. Like being in a horrible dream.

Kim said...

Oh my goodness I am so sorry. :( How terrible. I will hope and pray that they will see a heartbeat the next time.

Remember to take care of yourself. It's okay to grieve.

Tracy said...

Oh no. I am so so sorry. so sorry.

Jamie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Hugs for you and your family.

that*darn*kat said...

Prayers for you and your family! I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I have been there, and I am so very sorry for your loss.
Debbie
Just Peachy

Rachelle said...

I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

jenn said...

I am so sorry to hear this, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
jenn

Jennifer said...

Hi
I am so sorry to hear about this. I am a recent lurker to your blog. I just lost my second baby this year. It really does hurt. God Bless you and your family!

The Clevengers said...

We're so sorry Samantha we'll be praying for you.

The Clevenger Family.

Hannah said...

Prayers coming your way....

Anonymous said...

Blessed be God,even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,the Father Of Mercies,and the God of all comfort

II Corinthians 1:3

dyeabolical said...

I'm sending you a long distance internet hug. Going to hold you tight in my thoughts, especially on Monday.

pincushionpoints said...

You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry.

heartathome said...

I am new to your blog and so very sorry to hear this news. How YOUR beating heart much ache. Asking the Lord to carry you and your family through this valley.

Karen said...

Oh Samantha. I'm at a loss for words. My heart aches. I'm praying for you and your family.

Kate said...

I am so sorry for your loss...You and your family will be in my prayers.

Dawn said...

I am so very sorry...

Autum said...

Oh sweet Samantha, I am so sorry. I am at a loss to find words that are adequate. Just know that you are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Praying~~~May you be wrapped in God's comfort and peace.

affectioknit said...

I am so sorry - blessings and peace be with you and your family.

Chandra said...

I am heartbroken for you and your family. You have so graciously invited us into your life and shared your joy with us as you found out this good news. I hope that as you feel surrounded by prayers your grief may be shared as well. May the Lord bring you healing for your body and your heart. Bless you!

Reformed Grits said...

Oh Samantha, I am so sorry. Strangely I've lost a baby under very similar circumstances-- after kidney issues. I was 17 weeks. My heart is just breaking for you and the loss of your precious child.

Betsy said...

Honey, I am hurting and praying for you..I'm soo sorry!

Valarie said...

Oh Samantha what a deep loss for you and your family. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Big giant hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry-I know how bad this hurts and how unreal it seems. I will be thinking of you. DawnG.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, what a sorrowful thing for your family. I hope all goes well for you!

Michaela said...

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
(I have been there too, and there and there were no words that could help me.)

Debbie said...

I'm very sorry for you.

Laura said...

I am so very sorry, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary said...

Samantha, I am so, so sorry. Please know that I am thinking of you and holding you in my heart.

Jaclyn said...

I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.

Martha said...

I am so sorry. How horrible. My prayers will be with you.

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog and read your amazing story and grieving.. I'm so sorry. (I also lost a baby and still haven't any yet). But what occours to me to say is that God knows how it feels to loose a son. He knows all about it.. and plus.. whenever the circunstances tells us differently and we keep relating to Him and beleving He is love, no matter what, that's faith.. so I'll pray for you..
Susana

Jane said...

This is such sad news! So very sorry! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jane

Goosegirl said...

Dear Sam, I am so sorry. I do know how it feels and sometimes the pain is so very bad. I know you have heard it all before so I won't say much more. But it hurts and I am sorry you are hurting. I know you want to hold those babies again.

I just received the new Selah cd in the mail on Friday and there is a song called "I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)" that spoke to my heart so much. If you get a chance, listen to it. It is beautiful and so perfectly describes how this feels.
I pray the Lord comforts you and heals your heart my friend.