I know it has been a week since I posted, but I just haven't had much to write about. We did have market last weekend, but I didn't do anything to get ready for it. Ben took my big green cushy chair, I came late, left early, and just sat the whole time. It was fun, but it wasn't the same, I didn't even get to decorate my booth. :( Ben did a great job of getting it all done by himself, and I was really proud of him, but it bummed me out a little to not get to do it. To be honest I've pretty much been bummed out the whole stinkin' week. They had to change my medicine again because the procardia just wasn't working at night. AT ALL. The new medicine is something that I have never tried before, and it's making me sooooooo sleepy all day long. I don't feel like doing anything crafty because I'm so foggy, and I think that is one thing bugging me, not being productive. Another major thing is not being able to take care of my family like I'm used to doing. It totally bums me out to not be able to DO. I realize that it's good to learn these things about myself, and it's very sweet to see my family taking over and getting the job done so well (they have been AMAZING!), but I feel so not needed! I hate that. I love to feel needed. All week I've been in denial, just pretending that I was feeling just fine, but here is the truth. Just when I think I have this high risk pregnancy stuff all figured out, and I know just how to make it through without any more hiccups than is expected, I go and have a week like this. So yeah, I'm bummed out, I miss my friends, I miss being able to be outside, I miss seeing my family that I'm used to seeing three times a week, and most of all I miss being mama and being needed. There I said it. It's out and I feel a little better having said it, but I'm not going to camp out here. Nope. I'm here at the end of this battle and it's time to put on my big girl britches and finish this thing. It's time to man-up!
My plan of action is as follows:
:: Focus on the little kicks and bumps that mean that this little one is doing just fine even though mama isn't. Preterm labor, you stink!
:: Start knitting, even though I don't really feel like it, I know that I just need a little jump start to get me inspired again. Knitting will make me feel productive and I need that right now.
:: Find a good soaker knitting pattern and order the yarn that will work best for newborn cloth diapering. YAY! Tiny cloth diapers! Any suggestions friends?
:: Blog more. I really do feel better when I write on a regular basis. I can write things that my introverted personality could never say, and I feel good about having all of this real life documented, even if it isn't always rainbows and kittens. :)
:: Be grateful, oh so grateful, for another chance to be a mama to a baby. It has never been easy, but that's how I know that each one is such a HUGE blessing! Even when I'm bummed it's easy to see that. God is so good!
:: Invite friends over, even if I will be a terrible hostess, they probably won't care and the kids will love it too.
:: Get Ben to stock up on citronella candles so that I can be on the front porch more, fall is in the air and I don't want to miss this just because of bugs! I'm an outside kinda girl, it has always made me feel better to be outside, even when I was little.
:: And know that "1For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 2A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. 5A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 6A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. 8A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3
Thanks for listening friends! I'm sure with this plan of action, some prayers, and just knowing that we are almost there, I'll be feeling better in no time. xo, Sam
My plan of action is as follows:
:: Focus on the little kicks and bumps that mean that this little one is doing just fine even though mama isn't. Preterm labor, you stink!
:: Start knitting, even though I don't really feel like it, I know that I just need a little jump start to get me inspired again. Knitting will make me feel productive and I need that right now.
:: Find a good soaker knitting pattern and order the yarn that will work best for newborn cloth diapering. YAY! Tiny cloth diapers! Any suggestions friends?
:: Blog more. I really do feel better when I write on a regular basis. I can write things that my introverted personality could never say, and I feel good about having all of this real life documented, even if it isn't always rainbows and kittens. :)
:: Be grateful, oh so grateful, for another chance to be a mama to a baby. It has never been easy, but that's how I know that each one is such a HUGE blessing! Even when I'm bummed it's easy to see that. God is so good!
:: Invite friends over, even if I will be a terrible hostess, they probably won't care and the kids will love it too.
:: Get Ben to stock up on citronella candles so that I can be on the front porch more, fall is in the air and I don't want to miss this just because of bugs! I'm an outside kinda girl, it has always made me feel better to be outside, even when I was little.
:: And know that "1For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 2A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. 5A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 6A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. 8A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3
Thanks for listening friends! I'm sure with this plan of action, some prayers, and just knowing that we are almost there, I'll be feeling better in no time. xo, Sam
Comments
times and seasons, Sam.... times and seasons.
This season for you is to grow your baby safely (and maybe have time for reflection too?). And it seems to me that you are definitely needed still! You have done a good job with your children since they are able to take over and help in the household when required, and the feeling of accomplishment and love they must feel from doing this for you is wonderful. Maybe they need this? Who knows....
Wishing you well for the remainder of your pregnancy.
And "not needed"?? Are you kidding? What is inside you at the minute? You are ALL that little one needs at the moment, not to mention that mummies are a family's heartbeat. Their rock. Whether you're bouncing high or curled up and fast asleep, you're emotionally holding the whole thing together:)
Love and prayers from a new reader and friend x
Love you!
xx Susan
Very very soon your wonderful new bundle of love will be in your arms, being kissed and snuggled by your sweet kiddos. Enjoy your time of rest. I know you want to care for your family. But my staying put, YOU ARE! You are doing the best thing for this little miracle. I hope you get to go outside without being nibbled by bugs.