I think everyone that knows me would agree that I'm a really good mom. I am. I'm not being cocky or self absorbed, but that's what I was born to do and I have worked very hard everyday for almost 13 years to be good at my job as mama. Now let me tell you a story, about Mother's Day when my third child was about 18 months old. The week before I had been bragging about how I could "NEVER!" leave one of my precious children in a hot car!!! What kind of mother would do that?! I mean what could be more important?! Some selfish idiot obviously. I mean I was an expert mom at this point ya know, THREE whole kids, a natural birthing, breastfeeding pro, my dear children had never been "harmed" by a SINGLE vaccination, I was a natural/attached parenting guru before it was even cool! I knew it ALL! Co-sleeping, extended breast feeding, growing our own food, we built our own home, had acres and acres of land, planned to homeschool, and after all I was 25 for heavens sakes! I had been a mom for FOUR whole years!! So this Mother's Day I pridefully walked out of church knowing I deserved everything that this amazing day had to offer! The kids started whining to ride to my moms house (only a block away) with my mom and dad and I said sure. I was talking to a friend outside the car when I saw my dad (out of the corner of my eye) walk up, open the door and walk away. In the back of my mind I assumed he had grabbed a booster seat. My friend and I finished talking and I got in, she wished me a happy Mother's Day (which I obviously deserved) and being the perfect mom that I was THEN I drove away glancing into the back of the van. No children. I got to mom's, hopped out, and went in ready to eat! The kids were already in the spare room changing, I could hear them giggling, and they came out in their play clothes and my mom said nervously "Where is Maddie?!" I said "She was with you." My dad's face dropped "No I put her in your car because we didn't have her a seat!" My heart dropped as I ran. How long have I been inside? Why didn't I see her? What was I thinking?! I got to the car and opened the door to a sleepy toddler with sweat beads all over her precious little face. I grabbed her hot little body up and squeezed her to me! Then it hit me, I'm. that. mom. On Mother's Day, I'm that mom. I don't even deserve a Mother's Day! I deserve to die! In a hot car! What kind of monster am I?!?! You see, it was a misunderstanding, my dad didn't know that Maddie's car seat was the middle seat, not the one behind my seat that he had put her in. He didn't know, I didn't know she was there and didn't see her, he thought I saw him, I didn't. I was so afraid, disappointed, upset, angry, sorry, oh so sorry for my baby. What if?! What if?! The fear!! I learned a very valuable lesson that day....I'M HUMAN. An imperfect human. I need grace. I learned another important lesson that day too.... I'm still a good mom. Actually, I'm a better mom, friend, and wife, because now I try to extend the same grace that was extended to me that day by my loving savior! Now I have seven children, four of those precious little souls can't unbuckle themselves. We have a buddy system, we double check, triple check, and then look again when we get out of the car. I do everything I can to be always mindful of where my children are and what they are doing, but I'm human. I still make mistakes. Boy do I make mistakes! And oh the misunderstandings that can come along when there are so many little people needing your attention. My kids get hurt, climb on furniture the minute my back is turned, get choked no matter how small I cut things, fall with me right next to them, even while holding my hand! Now, even more than then, I NEED GRACE!!! I'm a good mom, that needs grace, and guess what....You do too, and so does the mom you just read about in that Facebook article, or the one you saw in the grocery store, or the one at the park. She needs it desperately, she loves her kids just as much as you do, and she's probably a really good mom that needs a bit of grace. Please be kind to her. xo, Sam
Posted with Blogsy
Comments
We are all just doing the best we can with what we've got.
Blessings
Renata:)
The parents who say, "It'll never happen to me" are not as careful as those of us who say, "It could happen to anyone".