Tuesday, November 8, 2011

My Cup Runneth Over

Let me tell you a little story. It's about me, a stay-at-home, work-at-home, homeschooling, adopting, breastfeeding mama, who has been in a miserable funk for the last two weeks, and was blessed with a way out! I feel compelled to tell this story today because I feel like it may help other mamas. I really hope it does. :)

Within a week after we got home from our trip, I started feeling "off". Nothing big, just a little overwhelmed with the cluttered house, the kids being kids, homeshooling, that sort of thing. Immediately I thought "I need to figure this out fast! I don't have time for this!" Ben was working doubles to make up his time off and I thought that may be it. Not having him here always throws me off balance a little. Claire was a little fussy obviously coming down with a cold or something and that meant not so much sleep. Within a few days I started getting snappy with the kids, inwardly I was really struggling with a short fuse. I thought "I can't let this continue! I have got to figure this out! Nothing is wrong with me, life is great, our vacation was more than we ever dreamed it would be, I am surrounded by people who love me....What is this feeling?" So I went to work trying to fix the things that bothered me and I prayed for an answer. I started by adding in a few fun things into my clean, cook, school, drive kids here and there, wash clothes, cook, change diapers, help a friend with a project, cook, bath time, bedtime, try to sleep schedule... 

The girls and I each got a temporary colored streak in our hair just for fun... 
I spent two days de-cluttering the house and throwing stuff away. I started a new knitting project...

 I finished the knitting project....
 AND another....
Then I started another one...
 I curled my hair and even sent a picture to Ben at work to prove it!


I visited a knit shop that I had just discovered...


I broke a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL that has been in my wallet since before Claire was born!! One day Ben gave it to me and said "Blow it on something that is just for you." For months I have saved it for a rainy day, and I finally spent some of it!

I did all of this, and nothing changed. By now you guys know that I'm not the lay-down-and-die type. I had a problem, I felt depressed and irritated and DONE, I had lost all of the patience that I usually have for my children, but I did not know what else I could do to "cheer" myself up!

Now let me tell you what I learned about love a very long time ago before I was even married. I once heard an illustration that made perfect since to me. Everyone has a love "cup". When you pour love into someone elses life you fill their cup up some, and lose some from your own cup, but that's fine because when someone loves on you, your cup gets filled some more. A good balance helps everyones cup stay full. We all feel loved in different ways, but the best way for me to give and feel loved is quality time with loved ones. Your way may be much different.

Back to my story, I was feeling pretty bad, and guilty, and depressed, when God revealed to me that this is just what had happened to me. I didn't realize it before because I was thrown off by the timing, I mean we just got home from a trip where everyone came home with a full cup! But little by little in that first week of being home I had poured a lot of love into others, and with Ben being away from home, having a sick babe, and my balance being off, I quickly found myself running low. The kids helped some, but as you know the balance with children and parents isn't quite even. None of the things I tried worked because it wasn't what I needed. No amount of crafting, fixing-up, or getting out would do.
God has blessed me with one amazing man! I told Ben what I needed and not only did he take me on a date out to eat and to the book store (my favorite date night) ......but he arranged with Jake (his brother and my sister's husband) for them to keep all of the big kids (that's 6 kids from 2-10 yrs old) so that my sister and I could have a whole night and day together doing whatever we wanted! We took the babies and stayed the night at her house. We ate food that we didn't cook, we watched a movie with no interruptions, we drank coffee, she crocheted and I knit, we talked until 2AM. When we got up the next morning we headed off to the knit shop and played with yarn. We had an amazing day! When we came back to my house, where the husbands and kids were, they were all happy to see us! AND Ben had even done the laundry!!! So today I sit here writing this post with a cup that has been filled to the brim by my loving husband and my precious sister! I feel loved, and that's all I really needed. :) God is so good!

I really felt like I should share this today. If you have been feeling this way, and maybe didn't get why, tell someone. You will probably be surprised at how happy they are to help! Then you will be able to give back when you have what you need. Love to all! xo, Sam

13 comments:

Pomona said...

That was a lovely post! I think it is important to remember that as wives, mothers, working women, we are actually doing several jobs simultaneously, and especially when the children are small we are constantly on duty - there is no time off, sometimes not even at night. No employer would be allowed to do this! So it is important to be able to have a little time off - and I agree also that you can't give out all the time without being replenished. And in the end it is love and affection, the simplest things in life which don't cost money, which are the most important and valuable.

I am glad you have found your way through your dark days, too.

Pomona x

Stephanie said...

I need to head to a decent yarn store in Birmingham.

Please, please write an update about your sister (or sister in law?) who lost her home during the April tornado while she was in the hospital having a baby--would love to hear that all is well with your family.

Lynn said...

Aw Sam - if this post isn't for anyone else, it's for me!!! Thank you for your honesty. I'm just so tired of the constancy of life, and although I've talked to Paul and my best friend, Lindsey, about it, it's just hard. But your post encourages me to try some things. Love you!!!

Vintage Rose said...

Thank you Samantha, just the post I need today.
God bless.

Kathryn said...

Sam, thank you so much for this. I'm feeling the same way right now - just exhausted by the baby and the boys and getting no help. Thank you for reminding me that sometimes I just have to speak up.

Ashley said...

Thanks for sharing that! Just what I needed to hear after running around like mad for the last few weeks (probably months really) trying to get ready for bub #2 due in 1 1/2 weeks! It's so hard to speak up sometimes but makes such a difference when we do.

Eileen said...

So glad to hear that you are back to your happy mommyness! You are so right, sometimes we just need to ask for some help or a break. What a wonderful husband you have!

thelunamoth said...

Beautiful pictures! I really enjoyed this post!

rental mobil jakarta said...

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H.A campbell said...

Sam, I am so glad you got your love cup filled. That's awesome! I love Claire's little outfit. I wish I could knit!

folkhaven said...

I've just happened upon your blog for the first time. I love this post. Thank you for writing it. I've been struggling a bit with this myself, and I only have one little tyke. I'm so happy your husband is so wonderful. I am similarly blessed, and that makes ALL the difference!

D-lyn said...

wow I love that you shared I have been is that same place and tried to explain myself to my hubby he didn't get what I needed... Your post has validated me in a way I didn't know that I needed and helped me understand myself better!

Mary said...

I am definitely feeling this way now, so thank you so much for posting this timely message.