In Heaven

(picture taken this morning)

That's where I've been for the last six days. Oh my goodness! I can't even begin to describe the last six days of my life! I had such a wonderful and peaceful labor and delivery experience. Ben was great, God blessed us with a sweet nurse that didn't mind working with an unmedicated mama, and my doctor was on call and excited about working with us...oh it was so perfect! I plan to write down my whole labor and delivery story soon, but I'm still not sure if I will share it here or not as I don't plan to leave out details. Maybe I can share a revised version here if any of you like to read birth stories (I do).

Labor and delivery seemed like a wonderful dream, but it still didn't feel real to me, then that night when it was just Ben and I alone with her it started to sink in. I told my doctor the next morning that it felt like I found out I was pregnant, having a girl, and I got my baby all in one day! If I'm being honest I have to say that my heart really never let me believe that we were having a baby. There were times that it would feel real for a minute, but then it would quickly fade. For the entire pregnancy I felt like my heart just ignored what was going on, even when I tried to force myself to feel something. The last six days have just been a happy blur of all of those emotions slowly settling in. Molly told me the day we got home "Mama, I just keep randomly crying when I see her. My eyes just fill up with tears and I can't help it, I'm just so happy!" I think that we all feel that way. I think we just wanted her so badly that we were afraid to feel it until she was here safe and sound. She really is such a little miracle! Shortly after she was born I told Ben "You know, I think I wanted a girl all along." And I know I would have felt the same way had she been a boy! She just felt so right, exactly who God meant for us to have and that's just what I wanted.

I made it to 36 weeks and 6 days! Those few extra days inside mama made a WORLD of difference! It is incredible what a difference just one more day can make. Those last few days were totally worth the fight! Claire has been so much easier in every way than my other babies. The biggest difference is nursing, she nursed at 20 minutes old like my other babies nursed at a month old. Now at 6 days old she nurses like they did at 4 months, it's crazy! My other babies were very jaundice and had to have billibeds, Miss Claire has just been eating so good that she is getting rid of it on her own. She is just such a dream, I never knew it could be like this!

I just can't wait another minute to show off her hospital pictures! I was trying to wait for them to come in the mail, but they still aren't here! So that's why I'm using the watermarked web photos that they let you share online. Isn't she perfect?! She was about 24 hours old here and the photographer was so in love with her. She just went on and on about how sweet Claire was with all of that hair, and how easy she was to photograph "Like a little porcelain doll." I was so proud! You know they probably tell all of the mamas that but I just had to believe her!

With all of these big kids around I just feel like I can't waste a moment with her, I know from experience how fast the first few days fly by and become years. I plan to enjoy every single moment that I can with this little gift. Oh friends! Can you believe how God answers prayers so perfectly? I just can't believe that God would bless us with our precious Bulgarian babies and another sweet biological baby!

If anyone needs me I'll be here holding an angel.....writing her birth story in my mind while we nurse....so sweet. xo, Sam