Well I'm sure you can imagine that preterm labor, bed rest, home health care, three kids, a farm, and a home based business aren't always easy to juggle, it's not. Most of the time I'm able to look for the good and focus on that until we've worked through things, but as we get closer to baby coming and my body gets harder and harder to control, I have to admit, it's been much more of a challenge. This week has been full of unexpected craziness! It's been pretty rough, but there is still a lot to be thankful for. And that's how I have decided to write this post, it will be a sort of diary of our week and at the end of every challenge we have faced I want to write what we have to be thankful for....because really, there is so much!
Friday, at 33 weeks and some days, the day after my last post, I woke up feeling pretty bad. By that afternoon my nurses (we talk over the phone several times a day) had upped my dosages through my pump, called the doctor, and we were on our way to the hospital again. When we checked in I was having contractions about every three minutes with the pump on! They tried it all, sedation, fluids, antibiotics just in case an infection had kick started labor, EVERYTHING. When they checked me I had dilated more (from 1-1.5 cm) so they pulled out the big guns, the mother of all preterm labor medicines, the make-you-as-sick-as-a-dog, Magnesium Sulfate. I can't even explain in one post how much I hate Mag Sulfate, I've had it several times over the course of the first three pregnancies, I hate it. It is some mean stuff. After four hours on Mag I was STILL contracting every three minutes, I was sick sick sick (from the Mag), and I had been hurting for a LONG time, needless to say I wasn't feeling very encouraged. Just when I was as whiny as a two year old who has missed a whole night's sleep my body started responding to the Mag and calmed down. Sometime around 2am I fell asleep. I was so very thankful that, even though I usually don't get any sleep in hospitals, I was able to get a few hours of rest. I was so exhausted from the labor and medicines that those few hours were like a gift from heaven!
Saturday I woke up in the hospital with the doctor tapping my leg. He said that my body had calmed down, he thought we were safe, and he checked me and I hadn't dilated more! I had to stay on Mag until at least lunch and then stay a few more hours for observation, but he said that I could go home that night if I did good. YES! Ben ran home to feed the animals and get a shower since everything was good with me and called me on my cell to say "Put-Put had her babies!" Yep, in all of the craziness I haven't even mentioned that it's kidding season here on the farm again! Our first set of twins were born and doing great. That night we got to come home around 10pm and the kids brought the babies in so that I could love on them. Oh I forgot how sweet baby goats are! That night I was so thankful that I could hold those babies, at home, and that my baby was safe for one more day.
Sunday I spent the day laying around, dosing on and off, trying to kick that floppy feeling that you get after taking Mag. Baby didn't move much either, but I was so glad that we weren't in the hospital or even worse, the NICU.
Monday I didn't feel well again, but it wasn't quite as bad as Friday, so when my nurses called the doctor that evening to tell on me I begged him to let me stay home! I promised that I would see him the next day for my appointment, and he let me off the hook! I was soooo thankful that I got the best sleep that night, at home in my own bed, and it was seriously the best night I've had in weeks!
Tuesday we went to the doctor and I was, feeling very good after such a good night, to find out that after my little episode the day before I had dilated more (now I'm at 2cm and 80%). My doctor said that at this point he won't do Mag Sulfate again because the risk would be too high for baby being born lazy, so we will just try to hang on for as many more days as we can. We came home from the doctor to find that our new baby boy goat was very sick. We did all that we could but he died about an hour later. I'm really thankful that we didn't have to see him suffer. We are alright when animals die, it's part of farm life and we have learned to deal with it well. We always say that we take good care of our animals, treating them well, giving them good food, and a good place to live, and if they die we know that they had a good life and we did our best. BUT, we hate to see an animal suffer, and having our baby boy pass so quickly and peacefully made it so much easier for my kids (and me). I'm so grateful for that.
Wednesday, was a really good day. We had visitors who brought food! A couple of friends from church came to visit and I got to kiss on their kids and see how much they have grown since I've not been at church. You know kids can really change in a couple of months! My heart was so full yesterday after spending time with all of them. It was a beautiful day!
One day this week my hard drive went out on my laptop, and I'm not allowed (says Ben) to go up the stairs to the loft to use my desktop, so I'm pretty behind on emails. Ben has my laptop temporarily fixed (with a much smaller hard drive from an old computer) until I get a part that I need, so I will try to get caught up tonight! I'm very grateful for my temporary fix!
I did finally have Ben get down all of the preemie and newborn clothes from the attic this week! Most of them have been washed and put away (only one more load to go) and I'm feeling more prepared.
Our massive-big-mama business printer died this week and the service people aren't in a big hurry to get out here to fix it. It died the day that Ben and our helper Anna were trying to get a lot of printing done for the business, he was so frustrated. BUT, I am so grateful that it looks like it will be an easy fix that is covered by our warranty! That is ALWAYS a good thing!
It doesn't look like my crocheted baby blankets will be finished in time for baby. In fact I've pretty much given up on the idea because it just seems so unimportant right now compared to everything else. I'm really starting to look forward to sewing, crocheting, and knitting again once baby gets here! And I'm so thankful that I will have a little one to make things for!!!
Molly has been doing my needle sticks when I change my site out for my pump and she does a wonderful job! She is fast and confident, and that's just what she should be. Nobody likes a slow needle stick! I can't even tell you how cool it is to have her with me all the time to do all these things. I can stick myself and I've had to do it in past pregnancies, but I DON'T like it. AT ALL. She's my angel and I'm so grateful to have her!
So here we are at the end of a very challenging week with so much to be grateful for....God has really taken care of us. I'm sure that there are still some rough/stressful days ahead before Baby is safe and sound here at home with us, but I think if we can continue to focus on all of the blessings that we have we will make it through much easier! I want to thank all of you for your sweet and encouraging comments, emails, and even phone calls over the last few weeks....I can't tell you what those mean to me when I feel so cut-off from the world! Thank you friends! I'll be back soon. :) xo, Sam