Thursday, March 27, 2008

I can't sleep!

I want to sleep like that!
It's midnight and I have to be at the hospital, which is one hour away, at 7am. That means I need to get up at 5am. I want to be sleepy! I'm a little edgy. I didn't mention this before but the surgery is two in one. They are going to check out my kidney and bladder problems; but they are also looking for other problems too. I miscarried at 11wks over a year ago and I have not been able to get or stay pregnant since. The doctor thinks there could be something wrong. I guess I didn't mention it because I would rather ignore it, that way I don't feel so crazy! Looking back I know God had his hand on me the entire time. I don't think I could have handled another pregnancy right away. I took it so hard and I grieved so long. I still get overwhelmed sometimes. He knew that better than me. I desperately want more children, but in his timing. I have struggled with those "what if" thoughts today. For about 60 seconds I had myself convinced that I would never have another child. I'm feeling better now, just a little child like. But all it takes is a mustard seed, right! Please pray for me tomorrow. It makes me feel better to know I have friends all over the world praying for my little family. ~ xoxox, Samantha

11 comments:

Autum said...

{{{Hugs}}} sweet Samantha. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family today!!

Mary (craft addict) said...

Thinking of you!

Alisa A. Ferrara said...

wanted you to know i just prayed for you and will continue to throughout the day...

Katie said...

I just prayed for you, and will continue to do so as thoughts of you pop up throughout the day!

Oliver Rain said...

You are most definitely in my prayers, sweet girl.

I haven't had a chance to comment much, but the Easter dresses were gorgeous!

Steve & Molly said...

Praying for y'all!
Love ya!

Anonymous said...

I hope that everything went well with your surgery. I have really enjoyed talking to you and enjoy your blog. Can't wait to meet you in person.

Nicki

thecherubscloset said...

Thinking of you! I hope everything went well.
Ula

Sheila said...

Samantha,
Thursday, the night before your surgery, I was at the Casting Crowns concert. When they played the song that you had posted for Easter, I was thinking of you and praying for you and your family, and the surgery coming on Friday. Knowing it was one of your favorite songs made it special! I know God will watch over you. Please just post a quick line to let us know how you are doing as soon as you are able.
XO

Kim said...

Your post really touched me as I too have recently lost a child.

It's Saturday morning so you must be recovering now. I hope it went well and I hope you're ok. I also hope the doctors have been able to answer your questions. My thoughts are with you and you're family.

Take good care of yourself hun.
Kim

Cakies said...

hi my name is ruby. i came by here through oliver rain. but i was reading this post and wanted to give some encouragement to you. before my husband and i got married, my husband found out he has a cist that would prevent us from having kids. he had surgery to try and correct it, but it wasn't a guarantee. after the surgery he checked again and the doctor said the surgery was unsuccessful and we wouldn't be able to have kids naturally. he said the best thing would be invitro... it was a most difficult trial for me to deal with, but i loved him enough and figured we would adopt if we couldnt have kids. so we got married, and to my surprise one month later i was pregnant! then after having my first, my husband can still feel the cist and doubted having children and knew the first was from God and a freak of nature. So after 6 months of giving birth to my first, I was pregnant with my 2nd. So despite the doctors diagnosis and a failed surgery, God really did show he can make miracles. i hope this long comment encourages you to not lose hope, but continue to place it in God. I hope the surgery went well and I will pray for you.