The Handmade Dress

I have so much to blog about but the Sun just isn't in the mood to let me take any pictures! I'll at least tell you a little about it all.... Molly is sewing clothes again . Perfect. You are going to love it. Enuff said. I cut up an old bag and a pair of cords to make a sweet little cross-body purse that I want to show you. I'm such a minimalist when it comes to shopping, I hate to carry extra things, so this bag will be well loved. I can't wait to get a good picture. We got a new puppy a few days ago, Zoe, and she is an angel. You will get to meet her soon. OH! I've been using homemade laundry soap, LOVE IT, I'll never go back. I'll have my comments and recipe here soon. And I'm really going to try to have the homeschool planner up by the end of the week (as long as nothing else crazy happens in this house!). WOW, I have a lot to catch up on! But for now....Today we decorated our tree! So at this very moment I'm sitting next to a pretty tree ...

Have you ever had one of those bad dreams that keep coming back over and over? That's what I have felt like I was living in for the last two weeks, and I couldn't escape. I rarely get depressed but when I do I find it very hard to feel normal for a while, I either cry at everything or don't feel any emotion at all...but now I feel like myself again...ahhh! This song came to mind today while I was thinking about how good it felt to feel good again (physically and mentally). I love this song! Today we went for a walk in the "forest". How could I be depressed for long with such nice weather, pretty trails in my favorite season of the year, and these three little faces? While we were walking today I was reminded of this post of our daily walk . Where did the time go? Wasn't that just yesterday? It's so hard to believe how fast my babies are growing. I took so many sweet pictures of them today (big surprise huh?). I did my best to get pictures ...

...here in my nest. After the last post, about crocheting to keep my hands busy, I just kept on going... For days that's all I did. I just sat here in my nest and followed the patterns in this book (ISBN 4-391-62017-0). I didn't stray from the patterns at all like I usually tend to do...I didn't want to think about it that much...I just wanted something to do to ease the pain. So here I sit, 11 doilies, 2 four leaf clovers, a basket liner, and two pin cushions later.... and feeling just a little bit better. I've been so depressed and discouraged this week, but I feel myself slowly moving out of it....one stitch at a time... Eventually I did make these pin cushions by just using the center of the doily pattern, not much imagination needed there, but it is an improvement. I hope I will be back to my old self soon, with more good days than bad days, until then I'll be here in my nest....stitching, praying, healing, and holding my sweet babi...

I've went back to my first love, crochet, to keep my hands busy through these hard days. There is something so healing in that quiet rhythm. I'm not sure what I will do with these yet, maybe frame them, I don't know.... What's important now is that I just keep going. One stitch at a time... ...then I'll be alright soon, I know I will...I wonder how many women before me have used a form of hand stitching to heal a broken heart....

...my arms won't be able to hold all of the angels waiting for me there! Oh what a happy day it will be when I get to meet all of those babies that I mourn for now. God has taken another baby to be with Him. I will go in for surgery in the morning. Please pray for us tomorrow....

We have winners!!! Jennifer said that it would be impossible to pick just one so I added a runner up prize (a pattern from the shop) and she picked the winners this morning! This is what she wrote: "Hi Samantha. Picking a winner was tough with so many great entries. I'm really impressed and inspired that all the projects were made with scraps. Very nice work, everyone! I was especially impressed with Kelli's candy cane ornaments because she made use of the tiniest of scraps using an original design. Using a muslin foundation and the flip and stitch method she pieced together small bits of fabric and achieved a delightful result. I appreciate that this project is one both beginning the veteran sewers can enjoy and validates my personal obsession with keeping the smallest bits of fabric because "I can use them later." I'm so going to make some of these! Congrats to Kelli. She is the winner! And because I couldn't pick just one winner from a fie...

....that is exactly what I have. I have had a wonderful week since Tuesday afternoon. I have not been worried or fretful, not even weepy or sensitive, I am at peace. I've just realised this week that in the last four years of walking through valleys I have learned a very precious lesson in faith. I used to pray for what I wanted and then pitch a fit like a mad toddler when I didn't get my way. I called asking God for what I wanted and believing that he would always give it to me "having faith"....but it's not....I've learned that having faith is being able to fully trust that He has a plan for me, and just like any father, he knows what is best for me even if it hurts . I don't have to run to him and tell him what I want, he knows the desires of my heart. Faith is being able to say "God I don't know why I'm here and I don't understand your plan, but let your Will be done....I trust you ". Now of course I'm not perfect, and it ...

I have been planning this post for weeks now, thinking about how much fun it was going to be.....I was going to show you my first ultrasound picture from yesterday and tell you how excited and grateful we are to be expecting another little angel, but this little one is already in trouble. We need prayer and a miracle. The doctor didn't see everything he needed to see on the ultrasound and the outcome doesn't look good. He said "the odds are stacked against us and statistically it doesn't look good" but he also said "I'm not ready to throw in the towel" and "We know God can change things".... I am so heartbroken today. I'm scheduled for another ultrasound on Tuesday, if they find what they want to see we will move on cautiously but if they don't see a change I will be scheduled for a D&C on Wednesday. I have so many different emotions pulsing through me this morning. My heart is not at peace, I'm still struggling to find wh...