I have been planning this post for weeks now, thinking about how much fun it was going to be.....I was going to show you my first ultrasound picture from yesterday and tell you how excited and grateful we are to be expecting another little angel, but this little one is already in trouble. We need prayer and a miracle. The doctor didn't see everything he needed to see on the ultrasound and the outcome doesn't look good. He said "the odds are stacked against us and statistically it doesn't look good" but he also said "I'm not ready to throw in the towel" and "We know God can change things".... I am so heartbroken today. I'm scheduled for another ultrasound on Tuesday, if they find what they want to see we will move on cautiously but if they don't see a change I will be scheduled for a D&C on Wednesday.
I have so many different emotions pulsing through me this morning. My heart is not at peace, I'm still struggling to find where I should stand and what I should feel. Should I prepare my heart for the heartache I know so well, or should I hang on to that shred of hope and wait for a miracle? I wish I were strong and decided on how to feel.....at least I know what I believe. I may not always be able to control or understand my feelings (especially when they are so charged with hormones) but I will always know what I believe.......I believe that no matter what happens His grace will be sufficient, I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), and I know that He has given me a very precious gift, a beautiful family, a wonderful strong husband, three precious biological children, and more children waiting in an orphanage in Bulgaria.
I have so many different emotions pulsing through me this morning. My heart is not at peace, I'm still struggling to find where I should stand and what I should feel. Should I prepare my heart for the heartache I know so well, or should I hang on to that shred of hope and wait for a miracle? I wish I were strong and decided on how to feel.....at least I know what I believe. I may not always be able to control or understand my feelings (especially when they are so charged with hormones) but I will always know what I believe.......I believe that no matter what happens His grace will be sufficient, I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), and I know that He has given me a very precious gift, a beautiful family, a wonderful strong husband, three precious biological children, and more children waiting in an orphanage in Bulgaria.
Please pray for my little one and our family this week, it would mean so much to me. Thank you friends. xoxo, Samantha
Comments
It was exactly a year ago, our family was going through a very similar situation and you supported us with your prayers. I'm so, so, sorry sweet Samantha that you are going through this difficult time. I will be praying for you and your family and for the doctors caring for you. Praying for a miracle!
I'm praying for a miracle.
ANd Lord Jesus, I pray right now that you will bind Samantha's heart to yours and that the emotions and feelings she experiences will be ordained by you alone. I pray for peace and strength for Ben and ask that you be present in their home now more than ever. Amen.
I'll pray for you and your family. I know too well this type of heartache and I do pray that things turn out the way you desire. If not, I'll pray God gives you His sweet comfort as only He can.
Blessings,
~Rhonda
Pomona x
I pray that you will know very clearly what you should do. I know how much this hurts.
Hugs and prayers.
Sivje
God takes us through it
without Him we just dont do it
Am sure that whatever His plan for you is, it will be the best.
Remembering your family in my prayers
Becky
most sincerely, kathleen hogue
They told me there was no heartbeat, and the sak was very irregular.. it looked really bad. Needless to say, she is 6 years old and a pistol! I don't know your circumstances of course, but please stay strong! ( Iknow you will!)
Chris x
i am in a hormonal stage at this moment so i am feeling your heartache.
PRAYERS FOR YOU LITTLE ONE, YOU ANFD YOUR FAMILY!!!
<3
God Bless,
Alissa
Take care,
Jenny
I am praying for you and your family.
Brenda
I'm certainly praying!
Love you!
xxx
Melanie