So much to show, but not enough sun!

I have so much to blog about but the Sun just isn't in the mood to let me take any pictures! I'll at least tell you a little about it all.... Molly is sewing clothes again. Perfect. You are going to love it. Enuff said. I cut up an old bag and a pair of cords to make a sweet little cross-body purse that I want to show you. I'm such a minimalist when it comes to shopping, I hate to carry extra things, so this bag will be well loved. I can't wait to get a good picture. We got a new puppy a few days ago, Zoe, and she is an angel. You will get to meet her soon. OH! I've been using homemade laundry soap, LOVE IT, I'll never go back. I'll have my comments and recipe here soon. And I'm really going to try to have the homeschool planner up by the end of the week (as long as nothing else crazy happens in this house!). WOW, I have a lot to catch up on!

But for now....Today we decorated our tree! So at this very moment I'm sitting next to a pretty tree and looking at my little man play by the fire while one sister takes her nap and the other finishes up her school. It's so peaceful and cozy here right now, unlike a few hours ago when Tim dropped a whole box of ornaments down the stairs, so I snapped a couple of pictures to share with you. I think Tim and I may sneak some hot chocolate with marshmallows while we have a few moments alone... I'll be back in a bit and show those lizard pictures I promised a few weeks ago.

Here Comes the Sun

Have you ever had one of those bad dreams that keep coming back over and over? That's what I have felt like I was living in for the last two weeks, and I couldn't escape. I rarely get depressed but when I do I find it very hard to feel normal for a while, I either cry at everything or don't feel any emotion at all...but now I feel like myself again...ahhh! This song came to mind today while I was thinking about how good it felt to feel good again (physically and mentally). I love this song!

Today we went for a walk in the "forest". How could I be depressed for long with such nice weather, pretty trails in my favorite season of the year, and these three little faces? While we were walking today I was reminded of this post of our daily walk. Where did the time go? Wasn't that just yesterday? It's so hard to believe how fast my babies are growing. I took so many sweet pictures of them today (big surprise huh?). I did my best to get pictures each of them alone because I never remember to do that and sometimes a picture of them by themselves can show so much of their personalities.
Look what's hangin on mama's finger (still). I love this baby. Did you know that she will be four next month and I still call her "the baby"? I still hold her everyday while she takes a nap too, yep, everything stops and I put "the baby" to sleep. I'm going to enjoy every last drop of these babies! This mama doesn't want to look back and wish I had enjoyed it more, nope, not me!
Maddie is just the opposite of her camera shy brother, this kid loves to be in front of mama's camera! Molly is pretty neutral, she doesn't really care one way or the other, but Maddie! She is such a sassy, girly girl! Look at that pose! (whispering) And don't tell Tim but that's a pretty good picture of his cute little face there too.
I LOVE Fall! It is such a perfect time of the year here in Alabama, the colors are beautiful, the weather is perfect (not too hot or not too cold). I was so inspired by all of the color! The bright vibrant colors of the leaves and their clothes along-side the deep dark hues of the trees and ground...so beautiful. Look at that cutie in her rain boots, she held her pants up because she said that the mud was "the stinky kind".
I'm telling ya, this one never gets tired of being center of attention!
I'm often asked by friends and family members that keep up with our blog why there aren't more pictures of Timothy.... He's FIVE (almost 6! Oh my!)...a lot of five year old boys have a thing about having their picture taken. I really think it's a game with them, the "who can make the worst picture when your mom really just wants a good picture game". He is such a good lookin boy! and I would love to have some good pictures of him, but I enjoy these too. Funny boy. This picture really describes my boy perfectly, a rip in the knee of his pants (he is so rough on clothes), one shoe untied, last years favorite hoodie on, and carrying his baby sister's trike up the hill for her....he's such a little man.
 I seriously stopped mid-trail today and looked at her and thought "she looks so much older all of a sudden". Molly, being the oldest, is like my little com-rad. She helps me so much around the house, she's the little mama to the other two, and she stays up late with me all the time so that I will have someone to talk to when I work. This girl has her mama's sense of humor too! She is constantly playing tricks on us and jumping out to startle people, this kid is funny!
I'm tellin you, that kid didn't have those long legs yesterday....just yesterday she weighed 6 lbs and was only 18" long.
I am looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with my family. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! Thank you so much for all of the support and prayers you have given us in the last weeks. I'm so thankful for friends like you!  

I'm here...

...here in my nest. After the last post, about crocheting to keep my hands busy, I just kept on going...

For days that's all I did. I just sat here in my nest and followed the patterns in this book (ISBN 4-391-62017-0). I didn't stray from the patterns at all like I usually tend to do...I didn't want to think about it that much...I just wanted something to do to ease the pain.

So here I sit, 11 doilies, 2 four leaf clovers, a basket liner, and two pin cushions later.... and feeling just a little bit better.

I've been so depressed and discouraged this week, but I feel myself slowly moving out of it....one stitch at a time...

Eventually I did make these pin cushions by just using the center of the doily pattern, not much imagination needed there, but it is an improvement. I hope I will be back to my old self soon, with more good days than bad days, until then I'll be here in my nest....stitching, praying, healing, and holding my sweet babies.

Keeping my hands busy...

I've went back to my first love, crochet, to keep my hands busy through these hard days. There is something so healing in that quiet rhythm.

I'm not sure what I will do with these yet, maybe frame them, I don't know....

What's important now is that I just keep going. One stitch at a time...

...then I'll be alright soon, I know I will...I wonder how many women before me have used a form of hand stitching to heal a broken heart....

When I get to heaven...

...my arms won't be able to hold all of the angels waiting for me there! Oh what a happy day it will be when I get to meet all of those babies that I mourn for now. God has taken another baby to be with Him. I will go in for surgery in the morning. Please pray for us tomorrow....

Scrap game entries!

We have winners!!! Jennifer said that it would be impossible to pick just one so I added a runner up prize (a pattern from the shop) and she picked the winners this morning!

This is what she wrote:

"Hi Samantha.


Picking a winner was tough with so many great entries. I'm really impressed and inspired that all the projects were made with scraps. Very nice work, everyone!

I was especially impressed with Kelli's candy cane ornaments because she made use of the tiniest of scraps using an original design. Using a muslin foundation and the flip and stitch method she pieced together small bits of fabric and achieved a delightful result. I appreciate that this project is one both beginning the veteran sewers can enjoy and validates my personal obsession with keeping the smallest bits of fabric because "I can use them later." I'm so going to make some of these! Congrats to Kelli. She is the winner!

And because I couldn't pick just one winner from a field this strong, I picked Dawn as the runner up. (Thank you Samantha, for allowing me to pick two entries.)

I LOVE "Tom" the turkey that Dawn made completely from stash supplies. From scraps of fabric and cotton stuffing to ric-rac for his waddle, velvet ribbon for his bow tie, and a knitting needle in his neck to make his neck stand up straight, Dawn did a great job of creating a scrap turkey with personality. Great job!

Thanks for asking me to participate, Samantha. The contest entries were very inspiring."



Congratulations guys! I will email you tomorrow for details about your winnings!

Here are all of the entries ready to be judged tomorrow by the wonderful Jennifer Ackerman-Haywood! I will announce the winner as soon as I hear from her! Good job everyone!

Kelli

"I must have Christmas on my mind! Our family Christmas tree is very eclectic and my favorite ornaments year after year are the ones that have been handmade. I had so much fun digging through my scrap bins looking at all those well loved (and tiny!) scraps. I started by sketching a simple candy cane and tracing onto muslin. I then used that for a foundation and used the flip and stitch method to add the scraps. I stuffed these with just a tiny amount of stuffing to give them some body and added jute for my hanger."

Debbie

"I sat my little girl down with the scrap box and asked her to choose the fabrics and trims she'd like to use for her skirt. Was she ever excited! She (and I) happens to be a SisBoom fan and all of the fabrics she picked are SisBoom fabrics. We have others in the bin, but this is what she asked for. She also picked some ribbon and ric rac, and of course she finally got to put pom poms on something. She's been waiting months for that opportunity."

(Front)

(Back)

Eleece Nephew

"This is the “Charlotte” pattern, from Children’s Corner. The Green corduroy fabric and gingham lining were scrap pieces from a dear friend who cleaned out her sewing room and gave me buckets of fabric. The momma hen, eggs, chicks, scarecrow and crow were all drawn out free-hank and cut completely out of scraps I had in my stash. I must say, this is probably the most fun I’ve had in a long time sewing. I felt like a real artist! I decided on the “chicken theme” because we had recently taken a trip to the country and my youngest daughter, Indea (4), had taken quite well to the chickens, chasing them around the coop and then to my surprise picking them up to give them “hugs.”

Mama Lusco

"The shabby trees and stars were inspired by Lollychops recent scrappy projects. I found coordinating reds and yellows, stacked about 8 layers of fabric, then cut out the shapes. After scrunching them up, I pinned them in place and stitched up the middle. They will get more shabby with time since the edges are unfinished.

To finish the pillows, I stitched JOY on the small one and PEACE on the large one in red floss. You have to zoom in to really see the stitching, but I'm pleased with it. I'm a total novice at hand embroidery, but just stitched away! Voila! In the time it took to watch a movie with the kids, I made two adorable holiday pillows."

 

 

 

Elizabeth T

 

"I have seen a couple ideas for color books online - so, I decided I needed to make one for my daughter. She is 20 months old and is learning her colors. I decided I had all those colors in my scrap pile - just needed to come together into a teaching tool! I cut 3 5" squares of each color. Then, I chose two tones of that color in embroidery floss and embroidered the color name on muslin. (I am somewhat new at embroidery and was surprised how quickly I could do a simple running stitch for all of the words!) An added scrap value - I got the muslin at a yard sale -already cut into smallish squares. I was happy to have a use for it. :) Next, I pieced the pages together and put together the book. I added fleece in between the pages to give it a softer feel. Also, added a velcro closure. I am happy with how it came out. "

 

 

Dawn

 

"This is "Tom"! He is made completely from things I had and not a thing was purchased to make him. He's made from scraps of fabric, cotton stuffing, ric-rac for his waddle, velvet ribbon for his bow tie, and a knitting needle in his neck to make his neck stand up straight. I weighted him with rice in his butt so that he would sit up nicely. His wings are made with fusible interfacing between fabric and then they are quilted to give them texture and more stability. He also has wiggly eyes for a fun and whimsical touch."

 

 

Tara

"I used mustard corduroy, linen bits, lace, velvet ribbon, a doily, and a piece of curtain. I am so in love with this scarf."

Elizabeth

"Reversible Table and Placemats

Here I have my six newly made 4-holiday placemats and table runner. My runner is short and fat to cover the buffet area, so it won’t run far, but it will do a great job over here. Four-holiday what could I possibly be talking about? It's Reversible!"

Umma
 
"It's a scrap bag and weighted pin cushion. I haven't finished the matching pattern folder cover & notion holders yet."
 
 

 
Contrax
 
It was fun to go through my scrap bag and remember the things I have made this past year. I chose some scraps based on the patterns that would fit across the button, added some rick rack and then glued on a bead or two from my scrap bead jar.

The Prudent Homemaker

"For the scripture bag that I made. A tutorial should be up by tomorrow. It is made of 3 small scrap pieces of tapestry that my Mother-in-law gave me. The tassel is from some curtains that were given to me from another woman (I cut the curtains into a dress for my daughter)."

Peace that passes understanding...

....that is exactly what I have. I have had a wonderful week since Tuesday afternoon. I have not been worried or fretful, not even weepy or sensitive, I am at peace.

I've just realised this week that in the last four years of walking through valleys I have learned a very precious lesson in faith. I used to pray for what I wanted and then pitch a fit like a mad toddler when I didn't get my way. I called asking God for what I wanted and believing that he would always give it to me "having faith"....but it's not....I've learned that having faith is being able to fully trust that He has a plan for me, and just like any father, he knows what is best for me even if it hurts. I don't have to run to him and tell him what I want, he knows the desires of my heart. Faith is being able to say "God I don't know why I'm here and I don't understand your plan, but let your Will be done....I trust you". Now of course I'm not perfect, and it took me a day or so to have enough faith to pray that prayer and mean it after the news I received on Monday, but ever since I did I have had the sweetest peace in my heart and mind.

Thank you all so much for your prayers! I have been so touched, I have an inbox full of the most beautiful comments and emails from mothers all over the world. There is no way that I will be able to thank each one of you individually, but please know that each one meant so much to me and my family. I just can't express how blessed I feel to have so many wonderful people who care about us! Thank you so so very much friends, your prayers have been so appreciated. Please continue to pray for us in the coming days. Love, Samantha

Friends, please pray for us today.

I have been planning this post for weeks now, thinking about how much fun it was going to be.....I was going to show you my first ultrasound picture from yesterday and tell you how excited and grateful we are to be expecting another little angel, but this little one is already in trouble. We need prayer and a miracle. The doctor didn't see everything he needed to see on the ultrasound and the outcome doesn't look good. He said "the odds are stacked against us and statistically it doesn't look good" but he also said "I'm not ready to throw in the towel" and "We know God can change things".... I am so heartbroken today. I'm scheduled for another ultrasound on Tuesday, if they find what they want to see we will move on cautiously but if they don't see a change I will be scheduled for a D&C on Wednesday.

I have so many different emotions pulsing through me this morning. My heart is not at peace, I'm still struggling to find where I should stand and what I should feel. Should I prepare my heart for the heartache I know so well, or should I hang on to that shred of hope and wait for a miracle? I wish I were strong and decided on how to feel.....at least I know what I believe. I may not always be able to control or understand my feelings (especially when they are so charged with hormones) but I will always know what I believe.......I believe that no matter what happens His grace will be sufficient, I know that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), and I know that He has given me a very precious gift, a beautiful family, a wonderful strong husband, three precious biological children, and more children waiting in an orphanage in Bulgaria.

Please pray for my little one and our family this week, it would mean so much to me. Thank you friends. xoxo, Samantha